How I Chat with My Inner Worrier

Ever notice a part of you wants to do something… while another part stands there saying, “Uh… maybe not”? That’s my inner worrier. It shows up uninvited and whispers doubts.

Ignoring it doesn’t work. So now I pause and check in. I have a little chat, listen, acknowledge it, and reassure it that we can figure things out together, step by step.

It takes its job seriously, so feeling heard matters. Think of it like a loyal teammate or friend who feels personally responsible for keeping you safe.

You can go head to head… or pause and ask what’s really going on, the way you might help a friend calm their worries.

Today, a part of me showed up and whispered, “You’ll never get this right.” I paused. “Thanks for caring. What’s got you worried?”

“I don’t want you to fail,” it replied.

“I hear that—“You don’t want me to fail,” I responded softly.

“It’s just… I’m afraid things will go badly,” it admitted.

I took a deep breath, letting it settle beside me. “I appreciate you, and I understand. I’ll take things one step at a time. Even if I stumble, that’s okay—I’ve got this.”

It muttered something about disasters—fully convinced it was protecting me—but I could feel it soften. And just like that, a sense of calm spread through us both.

Here’s the thing: that worried part isn’t a problem to be fixed. Trying to silence it usually just makes it louder—like a teammate waving their arms for attention. Notice it, honor its sense of responsibility (even if a bit overzealous), and invite it to be part of your team

Even the most protective, worried parts can become allies once they feel seen and heard. Let them join your team, not take the lead… and if they want to keep an eye on you from the sidelines, that’s perfectly ok.